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6.06.2006 - 4:27:00 AM - 666

Today's 6.6.06 and I guess that means the world is coming to an end or the anti Christ is coming or some crazy shit like that. I really don't care. It's just another day at work for me. If the world ended. I'd be stuck here, infront of a desk, for 10 fucking hours. I guess I'm already in hell.

I know its been a while since my last real journal entry. I've been writing on paper instead of writing on here. My computer at home took a crap on me. I think it has something to do with the hardware, so I'll have to replace that. I'd rather get another tattoo though. I'm at work writing this inbetween crazy calls and tons of emails.

I bet the one person that reads this is wondering; Well it looks like your last couple of entries you weren't doing to good, are things better? Actually I bet no one gives a shit because I'm completely alone but thanks for caring. I'm fucking miserable and I hate it. I'm down in the dumps but hey you know, that's just me, and that's just the pathetic life I live.

I guess I get really tired of being so alone. My good buddy dick, I thought he was a good buddy, but he moved in with his significant other and now I haven't talked to him for about 2 weeks. He hasn't even tried to give me a call to see what's going on. I say fuck that. I knew it was going to happen and I told him that I knew it was going to happen. He blew it off like it was no big deal and that it wouldn't happen. Yeah, I didn't call that one.

So that's one down. My other problem is my brother. I try to talk to him. I try to hang out with him and do stuff with him and he just doesn't give a shit. His demeanor is so emotionless that I don't know if I pissed him off or its just the way he is. Everytime I turn around he's with his girlfriend (I don't blame him for that, but everyday I have off he's with her) or he's with another one of his friends and I'm sitting at my house infront of my TV watching That 70's Show.

I can't stop thinking about her. I don't think that one day has gone by where I haven't thought of her. And its not going away or its not getting less and less everyday. I just can't stop. I think about some of the things we did together. Like played with puppies at the pet store, Meeting each other at borders, going on a hike at camp Penn, or sitting in a pizza place eating a piece of pizza and watching American Idol. I just miss sharing things with her, and having someone care. I miss feeling complete, or atleast not feeling like I have a big hole in my heart. I miss seeing her smile. I miss her grabbing my arm and pulling me close to her. I miss looking into her beautiful eyes. Most of all I miss her love.

Bob Seger - Night Moves

Labels: , ,

.tanner - 6 comments - Post a Comment

::. comment: Well Colorado is always an option... I know how you feel though man I'm going through the same fucking emotions

- Blogger 420skydiver : 6/6/06 8:13 AM  

::. comment: Yeah, i should have just stayed out there.

- Blogger tanner : 6/6/06 8:48 AM  

::. comment: Yeah dude What a SWEET 666 it is. OOPs I mean was I am 2 mins late. Anyway dude yeah I read your journals. Mainly because u are the Radio Bam hookup....gotta say thanks for that one man. Anyway dude keep your head up I go through some of the same shit ups/downs. you'll get through whateva's eating at you.


- Anonymous Anonymous : 7/6/06 12:10 AM  

::. comment: Hey man I read your blog all the time. You seem like a cool guy, and it seems you have a good job too. The girl thing sucks big time, been there done that one. I'm sure you've heard this a million times but eventually when your not even thinking about it you will find someone else. Its wierd how stuff like that works. Well I know I don't know you man, but if you ever need someone to talk to drop me a comment on my blog and I will give you my IM address.

- Anonymous Josh : 7/6/06 11:18 AM  

::. comment: It will get better one day sweetheart, I swear. It always seems like things are never going to change, and they won't until you take a proactive approach to changing the things in your life that make you unhappy. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience. You got to live your life for you and for what makes you happy, not for anyone or anything else.

- Anonymous Christen : 20/6/06 7:29 AM  

::. comment: Dude, I'm not gonna bother putting my name. You can do an ip check, whatev. But yeah, I'm tired of seeing you like this man. Don't think I have sympathy for you, but I know that you are a billion times stronger than this. Get over her. She meant alot, this I know. But, life doesn't revolve around one memory, one instance of time. Life is a constant variable that always throws crazy shit your way. It is what we do with these obstacles, these epic trials of faith that determines are true merit. And right now, your current state indicates a very prominent lacking. Instead of longing for what you once had, revel in new beginnings. Count your blessings and let those spark your motivation and rekindle your flame for life. The shit with Dick, let it go. An unfortunate side effect of growing up is that we lose the luxury of seeing our friends every day. It sucks, but it happens. Be happy for Dick and Casey. And this shit about being alone is completely retarded. You're never alone. The phone works both ways. And it may be true that nobody gives a shit, but that's only because when you are in these moods you bring people down. We remember the Tanner before this chick broke your heart. And for you to be all self loathing and shit is a real bummer. So this is the rant. This is the way I feel. Now, I'm replying to a post that is over a month old so I could just be blowing smoke out my ass and things have gotten better for you. If so, rock on. Best of Luck.

Take Care.

- Anonymous Anonymous : 23/7/06 9:10 PM  






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